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Forgiving someone is not always easy, especially if they have hurt us quite deeply. Very often, it’s our egos which get in the way of forgiving someone.
I was listening to one of Ustadha Asra Adiba’s (may Allah subhanahu wa’ tala bless and preserve her) podcasts where she mentions the following quote, which I found incredibly profound:
“It may be infinitely worse to refuse to forgive than to murder, because the latter may be an impulse of a moment of heat, whereas the former is a cold and deliberate choice of the heart.” ~ George MacDonald
In other words, George MacDonald is saying that to refuse to forgive is worse than murder and a COLD and DELIBERATE choice of the heart!! The words Cold and Deliberate striked me, and really made me sit back, think and reflect. It made me think about the times I found it so difficult to forgive someone immediately.
Over time and through experience, we learn that in effect it’s better for us to actually forgive a person than to carry resentment in our hearts. I recall one of our beloved shayukh saying how our emotions are heavy baggage and prove to be obstacles in our journey to Allah subhanahu wa’ tala . The lighter our bags, the quicker we shall reach Allah subhanahu wa’ tala; the more emotion (anger, hatred, sadness, jealousy, envy etc) we have within us, the more it will slow down our journey to Allah subhanahu wa’ tala as we will waste a lot of time dealing with and overcoming such issues. Therefore we must quickly forgive, close that chapter and move on!
Let’s not forget, our beloved Prophet sallaAllahu alayhi wasalam was the most forgiving person, and regardless of how he was treated sallaAllahu alayhi wasalam, he was always ready to forgive. So in essence, forgiving others is the prophetic way and being the followers of our beloved Prophet sallaAllahu alayhi wasalam, it’s something that we should strive to embody within our characters. (Reminder to myself first and foremost)
May Allah soften our hearts and may we find it easy to follow the prophetic way of forgiving each other easily.
Ustadha Asra Adiba is a hidden gem, and her podcasts are absolutely brilliant as she covers a plethora of topics which affect our daily lives. I would highly recommend listening to them. May Allah bless and preserve her, and allow us to benefit from her. Allahumma Amin ya Rabb!